Author: Barb Majors

Therapy Trauma • • • By Barb Majors 0 Comments

Signs childhood trauma is affecting you

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When the Past Still Feels Present: Signs Childhood Trauma May Be Showing Up Today

If you have ever wondered whether your childhood experiences might still be shaping your reactions, relationships, or sense of safety, you are not alone. Many adults carry patterns that made sense back then, even if they feel confusing now. This post shares signs childhood trauma is affecting you in gentle, non diagnostic ways, plus what trauma informed therapy can look like and a few realistic tools you can try this week.

Childhood trauma can show up in adulthood as persistent stress, intense emotional reactions, difficulty trusting, people pleasing, numbness, or feeling on edge even when things are “fine.” These patterns are often protective responses that helped you cope earlier in life. Trauma informed therapy can help you understand the patterns, build steadier coping skills, and feel more grounded over time.

First, a quick note about the word “trauma”

People use “trauma” to describe a wide range of experiences. You do not have to label your past a certain way to deserve support.

Trauma informed care focuses less on “what is wrong with you” and more on “what happened, what did you learn to do to survive, and what do you want to feel different now.”

Signs childhood experiences may be affecting you today

These are not diagnoses. Think of them as clues that your nervous system may still be working hard to protect you.

1) Your stress response feels stuck on high alert

You might notice:

  • You startle easily or feel jumpy

  • You are tense in your shoulders, jaw, or stomach

  • You scan for problems, even during good times

  • You have trouble relaxing, even on vacation

2) Your reactions feel bigger than the moment

This can look like:

  • A small conflict feels like a crisis

  • You go from calm to overwhelmed very fast

  • You shut down, go numb, or “check out”

  • You feel ashamed after emotional moments, even when you did nothing wrong

3) You struggle with trust, closeness, or boundaries

You may recognize:

  • You want connection but fear being hurt

  • You over explain, over give, or over accommodate

  • You feel responsible for other people’s feelings

  • You worry you are “too much” or “not enough”

4) You feel unsafe in your body or around people

Some adults describe:

  • A sense of dread with no clear reason

  • Difficulty sleeping, or waking up already stressed

  • Feeling trapped in crowds or in certain environments

  • A strong need to control plans to feel okay

5) You have a loud inner critic

This might sound like:

  • “I should be over this by now.”

  • “I am weak.”

  • “It is my fault.”

  • “I have to earn care.”

Quick takeaway

If any of these sound familiar, it does not mean you are broken. It can mean your system learned protective strategies early and is still using them now.

  • Patterns are often adaptive, not character flaws

  • Your reactions may have a story

  • Awareness is a meaningful first step

  • Support can be practical and skills based

  • You can move at a pace that feels safe

How trauma informed therapy can help

Trauma informed therapy is not about forcing you to relive the past. It is about building safety, choice, and steadier regulation so you can live with more ease.

Depending on what fits you, therapy may help you:

  • Understand triggers and patterns. You learn what tends to set off fear, shame, anger, or shutdown, and what your system is trying to protect you from.

  • Build nervous system skills. Many people benefit from somatic approaches that notice body signals and practice settling strategies.

  • Shift beliefs shaped by early experiences. CBT can help you identify thoughts that keep you stuck and practice more balanced alternatives.

  • Work with “parts” of you with respect. IFS often helps people relate to inner protectors and wounded parts with compassion and clarity.

  • Process stuck memories when appropriate. EMDR can be used when it is a good fit and when you have enough stability and support in place.

Specific examples of what “help” can look like (without promises)

People often work toward goals like:

  • Feeling less hijacked by triggers

  • Recovering from stress more quickly

  • Setting boundaries without panic or guilt

  • Improving sleep consistency

  • Feeling more present in relationships

  • Replacing harsh self talk with steadier self support

What to expect in therapy

Starting therapy can feel vulnerable. Knowing what is typical can make it less intimidating.

Your first session usually includes

  • What is bringing you in now

  • What you hope therapy will help with

  • A brief overview of your history, at your pace

  • Current stressors, supports, and coping tools

  • Preferences for therapy style and pace

  • A plan for next steps

You are always allowed to say, “That is too much for today,” or “Can we slow down?”

Early sessions often focus on stability

Many trauma informed therapists start with skills and safety before deep processing. That can include grounding, tracking triggers, and building a “toolbox” you can use outside of session.

Here is one simple way early work is often organized:

  1. Create a sense of safety and choice in the room

  2. Strengthen coping skills for daily life

  3. Build a map of patterns, triggers, and needs

  4. Consider deeper processing methods if and when it fits

  5. Practice new responses in real life, gently and consistently

Practical coping tools you can try this week

These are not meant to replace therapy. They are small, realistic experiments that can help you feel a bit more grounded.

1) The 30 second body scan

Once or twice a day, pause and notice:

  • Where am I holding tension

  • What emotion is here

  • What do I need right now

Then choose one small action, like unclenching your jaw or taking one slow breath.

2) Name the moment

When you feel activated, try:
“This is a trigger response. I am safe enough right now. I can slow down.”

3) Orienting

Look around and name five neutral details you see. This helps your brain update the present moment.

4) Containment for “not right now” thoughts

If worries keep looping, imagine placing them in a box on a shelf. You are not denying them. You are postponing them until you have more capacity.

5) A boundary micro script

Practice a simple line that matches your style:

  • “I need a day to think about that.”

  • “That does not work for me.”

  • “I can do X, but not Y.”

6) A regulating routine that takes under 5 minutes

Pick one:

  • Step outside for fresh air

  • Stretch your shoulders and neck

  • Sip a warm drink slowly

  • Put a hand on your chest and one on your belly and breathe for five cycles

7) Track what helps, not just what hurts

In a note on your phone, write down:

  • What triggered me

  • What I tried

  • What helped even 5 percent

This builds self trust.

8) Reduce input during high stress windows

If you are already activated, try lowering stimulation for an hour:

  • Fewer screens

  • Quieter music

  • One task at a time

  • Gentle movement, if your body wants it

When to seek urgent help

If you feel like you might hurt yourself or someone else, or you cannot keep yourself safe, seek urgent help right away. Call 911, go to the nearest emergency room, or contact your local crisis services. If you are in immediate danger, prioritize safety over everything else.

If you are not in immediate danger but you feel overwhelmed, it can still help to reach out to a trusted person or a professional for support sooner rather than later.

A note about care and fit

In Portland and across Oregon, many people use a mix of in person therapy and telehealth depending on schedule, energy, and comfort. The most important factor is fit. You deserve a therapist who feels steady, respectful, and aligned with your goals, and it is okay to ask questions about trauma informed training and approach.

Additional resource links:

Call Trellis Counseling at 503-659-3480 or click here to get scheduled.

FAQ

1) What are common signs childhood trauma shows up in adulthood?
Common signs include feeling on edge, strong reactions to conflict, people pleasing, shutdown or numbness, and a harsh inner critic. These can be protective patterns that once helped you cope.

2) How do I know if what I experienced “counts” as trauma?
If your past still affects how safe, connected, or steady you feel today, it is worth taking seriously. You do not have to prove anything to deserve support.

3) What does trauma informed therapy look like in the first few sessions?
Often it starts with getting to know your goals, building coping tools, and creating a sense of safety and choice. Many people go slowly and focus on stability first.

4) Can EMDR help with childhood trauma?
EMDR can be helpful for some people when it is a good fit and the timing is right. A trauma informed therapist can help you decide whether EMDR is appropriate now or later.

5) Is IFS therapy good for childhood trauma?
Many people find IFS helpful because it supports self compassion and helps you understand protective patterns without shame. It can be used alongside other approaches.

6) How do I find trauma therapy in the Portland metro that feels like a good fit?
Look for a therapist who is clear about their trauma informed approach, invites your questions, and respects pacing and consent. Fit matters as much as technique.

7) Do you offer trauma therapy in Portland metro Oregon via telehealth?
Many practices in the Portland metro offer telehealth options, and some offer in person sessions as well. If you are considering care, asking about options and fit is a good first step.

8) How long does therapy take for childhood trauma?
It varies widely. Many people focus first on feeling more steady day to day, then decide what deeper work makes sense. Progress often happens in layers, at a pace that respects your capacity.

Individual Treatment Therapy Trauma • • • • • • • • By Barb Majors 0 Comments

Therapy for Childhood Trauma

Therapy for childhood trauma

Childhood Trauma in Adults: Signs You Might Recognize and How Therapy Helps

If you are searching for childhood trauma therapy, you may be noticing anxiety, shutdown, people pleasing, or painful relationship patterns that do not make sense on the surface. You are not alone, and therapy can help without forcing you to relive every detail of the past.

This post covers:

Common signs childhood trauma can show up in adulthood

Why these patterns make sense (they are often nervous system survival skills)

How trauma-informed therapy helps people feel steadier, safer, and more connected

If you are in the Portland metro area and looking for support, you will also find a simple next step at the end.

What counts as childhood trauma?

Childhood trauma is not only physical or sexual abuse. It can also include experiences that were chronic, confusing, or emotionally unsafe, especially when they happened in important relationships.

Examples can include:

Emotional neglect, criticism, humiliation, or unpredictable caregiving

Living with addiction, untreated mental illness, violence, or intense conflict at home

Feeling responsible for a parent, siblings, or adult problems too early

Being bullied, isolated, or repeatedly shamed during formative years

Growing up in a home where your needs, feelings, or boundaries were not respected

Sometimes there was no single “headline event.” Instead, it was the ongoing feeling of not being safe, seen, soothed, or supported.

Signs childhood trauma may be affecting you now

You do not need to check every box for your experiences to matter. These are simply common patterns that bring adults into trauma-informed therapy.

1) You feel on edge, or you go numb

Some people experience chronic anxiety, overthinking, and hypervigilance. Others feel detached, exhausted, or emotionally flat. Many people move between both.

2) Relationships feel intense, confusing, or draining

You might:

  • People-please and fear disappointing others
  • Feel panic when someone is upset with you
  • Struggle to trust even safe people
  • Pull away when closeness increases
  • Repeat relationship patterns that you logically know are unhealthy

3) You have a harsh inner critic

A lot of survivors carry an internal voice that is shaming, demanding, or never satisfied. Even accomplishments can feel like they do not count.

4) Boundaries feel hard to set or hard to keep

You might over-give, over-explain, or tolerate too much. Or you might avoid conflict until it explodes. Both can be signs that your system learned that needs and boundaries were risky.

5) Your body reacts when your mind knows you are safe

  • Trauma can live in the body. You might notice:
  • Sleep issues
  • Tension, headaches, jaw clenching
  • Stomach problems
  • Startle response
  • A sense of dread that does not match the moment

6) You feel “too much” or “not enough”

Many adults with childhood trauma swing between shame and self-doubt, or they feel like they are always performing to be acceptable.

If any of these resonate, there is nothing wrong with you. These patterns often began as protection.

Why childhood trauma affects adulthood

When you grow up needing to stay alert, adapt quickly, or manage other people’s emotions, your nervous system becomes very good at survival.

The cost is that later, in adulthood, your body might still respond as if danger is near, even when life is stable. That can lead to anxiety, shutdown, relationship struggles, or feeling stuck in old roles like caretaker, achiever, peacekeeper, or invisible one.

Therapy helps by working with both:

  • What you understand cognitively
  • What your nervous system learned emotionally and physically

How therapy helps when you suspect childhood trauma

Trauma-informed therapy is not about forcing you to relive the past. It is about helping you feel safer in the present, with support and pacing that respects your system.

Here are some of the ways therapy often helps:

1) Naming patterns with compassion

Many clients feel relief when they realize their responses make sense. Therapy helps you connect the dots without shame.

2) Building regulation skills that actually work

You learn how to recognize signs of activation early and return to steadiness. This can reduce overwhelm, irritability, numbness, and panic over time.

3) Healing the internal conflict

A common experience after childhood trauma is feeling pulled in different directions inside. One part wants closeness, another part wants distance. One part pushes hard, another part shuts down.

Therapy helps you understand these protective strategies and create more internal cooperation.

4) Processing painful memories and triggers safely

You do not need perfect memory to heal. With the right approach, therapy can reduce the emotional charge around reminders, themes, and triggers so they stop running your life.

5) Creating healthier relationship patterns

Therapy supports stronger boundaries, clearer communication, and a more stable sense of self in relationships. Over time, many people stop repeating dynamics that mimic early pain.

6) Rebuilding self-worth

Childhood trauma often teaches people they are “too sensitive,” “too much,” “not enough,” or only valued for what they do. Therapy helps repair that. The goal is not just coping, but a deeper sense of dignity and self-trust.

What does trauma-informed therapy look like at Trellis Counseling?

At Trellis Counseling, trauma work is paced and collaborative. Many clients want help with anxiety, depression, relationship struggles, grief, or burnout, and later realize childhood experiences are part of the story.

Depending on your needs, your therapy may include approaches such as:

  • EMDR for reducing distress connected to traumatic material and triggers
  • Parts-informed therapy (often aligned with IFS principles) for internal conflict, shame, and protective strategies
  • Nervous system and body-based tools for regulation and felt safety
  • Attachment-focused work to support trust, boundaries, and connection

You do not need to know exactly what you need before you reach out. A helpful first step is simply telling us what you are noticing now.

A gentle self-check (not a diagnosis)

If you are unsure whether childhood trauma is affecting you, these questions can help:

  • Do I feel responsible for other people’s feelings?
  • Do I struggle to calm down once I am upset, or do I go numb?
  • Do I find myself repeating relationship patterns I do not want?
  • Do I experience shame easily, even when I did nothing wrong?
  • Do I have difficulty knowing what I need or asking for help?

If you answered yes to several, therapy can help you make sense of it and build real change.

For a clear overview of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and how they can affect long-term health and well-being, see the CDC’s ACEs resource here.

Ready for support in the Portland metro area?

If you are looking for trauma-informed therapy in the Portland metro area, we are here.

Call Trellis Counseling at 503-659-3480 or click here to get scheduled.
Our team will help match you with a clinician who fits what you are looking for.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know if what I went through “counts” as trauma?
If your past still affects your nervous system, relationships, self-worth, or ability to feel safe, it matters. You do not need to compare your story to anyone else’s.

Do I have to talk about everything that happened?
No. A trauma-informed approach focuses on pacing and safety. You share what feels manageable, when it feels manageable.

How long does therapy take?
It varies. Many people feel relief early when they learn regulation and language for what they are experiencing. Deeper healing can take longer because the patterns often developed over years.

 

Trauma By Barb Majors 0 Comments

What is trauma and what do I need to know about it?

What is trauma and what do I need to know about it?

It seems like there is so much we hear about “trauma”.

Trauma can be described as anything that overwhelms the brain’s ability to make sense of what is happening. Chronic trauma can be more than a physical experience. Sometimes something that might be traumatizing for one person might not impact another.

Examples of traumatic experiences are:

• Single traumatic episodes like rape or a car accident
• Repeated trauma like neglect, sexual, physical, or emotional abuse

Chronic trauma experienced as children can have long lasting reactions for adults. Without even knowing it people can have hard time coping with every day stressors due to changes in brain brought on by continuing trauma. Ongoing abuse and neglect rewires the brain to expect those experiences to continue and therefore adapt to them as “normal”.

Some symptoms of trauma:

• Shock, denial, or disbelief
• Confusion, difficulty concentrating
• Anger, irritability, mood swings
• Anxiety and fear
• Guilt, shame, self-blame
• Withdrawing from others/social isolation
• Feeling sad or hopeless
• Feeling disconnected or numb
• Hypervigilance, or being hyper-aware of your surroundings
• Flashbacks and/or nightmares

There are theories that some mood disorders, such as bipolar, depression, and anxiety, can have their roots in trauma. This is not always the case but it is worth considering whether or not trauma plays a part in mental health challenges. That is why a therapist may want to know about a client’s adverse childhood experiences. There are also mind/body connections with studies being done that appear to be linking early trauma with chronic physical pain, like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, and even rheumatoid arthritis.

What can be done?

Having past trauma doesn’t necessarily mean a life stuck in suffering. Again, more studies are showing that effective trauma treatment does exist and are showing promising results. Some of those treatments include EMDR (Eye Movement and Desensitization Reprocessing) and Internal Family Systems counseling. Trauma treatment is different from “talk therapy” and often includes a more focused, experiential piece. More information about these different options will be coming in future blog posts.

Watch this space for more information on trauma treatment and ways healing is occurring for those suffering the effects of trauma.